I have no words for how I feel right now. The support from the tumblr community always astonishes me and I want to thank you guys so, so much. I feel much better today but I’m still gonna go in. I’m ready to make this change.

I’ve decided.

I’m going to the counseling center tomorrow.

I’ve had enough of these eating disordered behaviors and negative body image. My meds keep my GAD mostly under control but clearly, as evidenced tonight, I still need some help. Tonight showed me just how much I’m still struggling.

Therapy has done wonders for other members of my family and for my friends and yet I’m still so, so scared and ashamed to go. I KNOW there’s nothing to be ashamed of and yet I feel that way.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

As usual, Julia knows just what to say.

Thank you.

As usual, Julia knows just what to say.

Thank you.

kyriehope said: You're beautiful! Keep your head up, try to think only positive thoughts, even though it may be super hard (at least that's how I feel when I'm down on myself) and treat yourself in the way you feel is best, like maybe save up for a massage or go for a fun walk in a park or have a yummy smoothie. Hope you feel better soon:)

Thank you for the kind words :)

Anonymous said: Don't hide, you are beautiful no matter what you weigh <3

Much appreciated, anon :)

Having a really, really rough night body-wise.

I hate how much weight I’ve gained. I hate the way my body looks. I just want to curl up and hide.

This septum jewelry is my FAVORITE THING. Seriously, I’ve never had a body mod that makes me feel more…me? I don’t know if that makes sense, but I just love it.

Just to be clear, I’m not saying (and will never say) that being in a relationship is a “cure” for body image issues. Because it isn’t, and that’s something that has to come from within.

But DAMN is it nice to have someone to believe in my body even when I can’t. And not just to want me in a sexual way, but to reassure me that I belong in the world and I deserve to be seen. And, like a good partner, B has never said a single negative thing about my body and when I complain about it or bash it he hears me out but never joins in.

Some days I think I picked a winner


Roll is the best.

Looks for tomorrow (yes, I always pick out my outfit the night before). This dress was a fantastic investment. I bought it for the gala this past summer but it can be easily dressed down (like this!) for a day of classes. Plus it’s tight to my stomach and I still feel confident in it!